/* Joke Engine - by Mihai Dancaescu Please do not repost this code. Also see https://code.sololearn.com/co392qNWI38X/?ref=app */ #include #include #include #include #include #include #include #include using namespace std; struct JOKE { string content, author; void print(int i) { cout << "Joke #"; if(i < 100) cout << "0"; if(i < 10) cout << "0"; cout << i << endl; cout << "---------" << endl; cout << content << endl; cout << "Joke added by: " + author << endl; } }; vector v; void add_joke(string content = "Empty", string author = "Mihai Dancaescu") { v.push_back({content, author}); } int main() { srand(time(NULL)); add_joke("An optimist says: \"the glass is half-full\"\nA pessimist says: \"the glass is half-empty\"\nA programmer says: \"the glass is twice as large as necessary\"\n"); add_joke("The programmer\'s wife sent him to the grocery store.\nHer instructions were: \"Buy butter. See if they have eggs. If they do, buy 10.\"\nSo he bought 10 eggs.\n"); add_joke("Definition of \"algorithm\":\nWord used by programmers when they do not want to explain what thay did.\n"); add_joke("Definition of \"programmer\":\nA machine that turns coffee into code.\n"); add_joke("Definition of \"programmer\":\nA person who fixed a problem that you don\'t know you have in a way you don\'t understand.\n"); add_joke("Definition of \"hardware\":\nThe part of a computer that you can kick.\n"); add_joke("Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?\nA: Because he didn\'t get arrays.\n"); add_joke("Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right?\nA: 1\n"); add_joke("Q: What do computers and air conditioners have in common?\nA: They both become useless when you open windows.\n"); add_joke("Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?\nA: because they don\'t C#.\n"); add_joke("Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.\n"); add_joke("A programmer had a problem.\nHe decided to use Java.\nHe now has a ProblemFactory.\n"); add_joke("99 little bugs in the code,\n99 bugs in the code,\n1 bug fixed...compile again,\n100 little bugs in the code\n"); add_joke("3 SQL Databases walked into a NoSQL bar.\nA little while later, whey walked out\nBecause they couldn\'t find a table.\n"); add_joke("Q: Why did the programmer get stuck in the shower?\nA: Because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said \"Lather, Rinse, Repeat.\"\n"); add_joke("There are 2 ways to write bug-free code.\nOnly the third one works.\n"); add_joke("A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...\n\"Can I join you?\"\n"); add_joke("UNIX is user friendly...\nIt\'s just very particular about who it\'s friends are.\n"); add_joke("I\'d like to make the world a better place...but they won\'t give me the source code.\n"); add_joke("Q: What did C++ tell C?\nA: \"You have no class.\"\n"); add_joke("#wife {\n right: 100%;\n margin: 0;\n}\n"); add_joke("Programmers while coding:\n\"It doesn\'t work...Why?\"\n\"It works...Why?\"\n"); add_joke("Programmer joke: !false\nIt\'s funny because it\'s true.\n"); add_joke("There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don\'t.\n"); add_joke("[\"Hip\", \"Hip\"] <- Hip Hip Array!\n"); add_joke("The only programming joke I know is my code.\n"); add_joke("Your mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.\n"); add_joke("Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?\nA: None. It\'s a hardware problem.\n"); add_joke("Definition of \"project manager\":\nA person who thinks 9 pregnant women can deliver a baby in 1 month.\n"); add_joke("Typical Linux user:\n\"I hate programming\"\n\"I hate programming\"\n\"I hate programming\"\n...\n\"It works! I love programming!\"\n"); add_joke("Two bytes meet.\nThe first byte asks the other: \"Are you ill?\"\nThe second byte replies: \"No, just feeling a BIT off.\"\n"); add_joke("Programs for sale: fast, reliable, cheap*\n*choose two\n"); add_joke("Q: How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?\nA: 473. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle,etc.\n"); add_joke("In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.\n"); add_joke("Q: Why do programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?\nA: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC\n"); add_joke("Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?\nA: To get away from KFC!\nP.S. This joke may not be funny for regions that don\'t have KFCs, chickens, or roads.\n", "Ahri Fox"); add_joke("Q: Where does a cell phone live?\nA: In jail!\n", "Ahri Fox"); int length = v.size(); if(length == 0) return 0; int i = rand() % length; v.at(i).print(i); return 0; }

Joke Engine v1 - 1Jan2017