Be like Artyom 2

Be like Artyom 2

Be like Artyom 2

Created by:

Johan Cruyff (Lito)

The following code may include inappropiate content for some people. Discretion is adviced.

The game doesn't prettends to offend anyone.

      🤔 🦋

Artyom finds a mutant butterfly right in his soup. What did Artyom makes?

a) Eat anyway

b) Throw the soup through the window

c) Jump from the window

❌

Artyom eats his soup with the butterfly on it. As Artyom is a being full of radiation, the combination of his body and the butterfly causes an explotion even bigger than the 4th reactor in Chernobyl.

      🍜 🙃

Artyom throws the soup through the window, falling in the head of the prime minister, who was fooling around that day. Artyom goes to prison, but he is happy because he has free food there. Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

❌

By making this, Artyom falls 36 meters and dies. Never jump from a window. Don't be like Artyom.

      😮 🥔

Artyom discovers that he was born from a potato. What did Artyom makes?

a) Look for his family

b) Make a salad

c) Buy a cylinder of liquid nitrogen

❌

Artyom discovers that his family abandoned him for being too stupid. He goes into alcoholism and dies.

❌

Artyom tries to make a salad. Then he wakes up in the hospital. Arty... Just don't be like Artyom.

     😏

Without any good reason, Artyom bought a cylinder of liquid nitrogen, and uses it to cool his pc. This has nothing to do with his vegetablish family, but anyway, Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

     😧 🍻

Artyom's cousin invited him to a drunkeness until death. What did Artyom makes?

a) Accept

b) Start a circus

c) Go away

❌

Artyom accepts to go to the party, that its always good to relax sometimes. He drinks too much alcohol, a so big quantity, that he becomes a nutshell. No one knows what happened then.

     🤡 🤑

Instead of going to the drunkeness, Artyom starts a circus with drogadict clowns, malnourished elephants and mangy tigers. Obviously he turns millionaire. Well, not that millionaire, but rich. Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

❌

Artyom run away, but the more he runs, the more desire of drinking he gets. Finally, a truck beat him and he dies.

      🚘 💊

Artyom has been caught by the police with illegal narcotics in his car. What did Artyom makes to avoid going to prison again?

a) Give drugs to the cops

b) Escape

c) Start to cry

     😏 💊

Artyom offers drugs to the cops, and they accept, and say "Its okay brother, you can go". Artyom is free and he made new friends! Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

❌

Artyom tries to escape and runs at 200 km per hour. A bit later he crashes against a truck. Seems like this is not the correct answer, huh?

❌

Artyom start to cry like a baby. Then the cops decide that Artyom would be the perfect toy for them. They kick him out of the car and kill him with a shotgun.

       😑

Artyom goes to the theater, but it is very boring. What did Artyom makes?

a) Whistle the performance

b) Stay quite

c) Jump very high

❌

The very loud noise of Artyom's whistles makes that the whole building explote. Never try to whistle after eating nuclear waste.

      😄

Artyom stays there, doing nothing. The time pass quickly and then he returns happy to home. By the way, he found a sniper rifle, very good for his collection of sniper rifles. Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

❌

Artyom don't understands the term, so he takes out a very big joint to get high and he gets cancer in his lungs.

     🦀 😥

Someone threw a crab in Artyom's underwear. What did Artyom makes?

a) Do nothing

b) Die

c) Grow 100 meters

❌

Artyom stays doing nothing, when suddenly...

❌

Artyom dies, and nothing happens. Nothing bad, nothing good. He just die and thats all.

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

For some crazy reason, Artyom grows 100 meters and seems like this is the correct answer! You are clever. Be like Yourself.

      😧 📑

Artyom was supposed to to make a 20 pages report as homework, but the idiot didn't do it. What did Artyom makes?

a) Say something stupid

b) Lie

c) This answer is wrong

       😛

"2 + 2? 22" says the retarded, but good, because the teacher died. The cause was Artyom's dumbness. Now he have time to make the report. Okay, he won't do it. Anyway, be clever. Be like Artyom.

❌

Artyom tells a very bad lie, so bad, that his own cells die of depression. Artyom ends as an unicelular being without any value.

❌

Why did you press this? Why?

     🎂 🤔

Artyom is preparing a cake, but he didn't know all the ingredients. What did Artyom makes?

a) Pour a random ingredient

b) Ask to his grandmother

c) Prepare a worm instead

❌

Artyom takes randomly a bottle of rat poison. This wasn't a wise desicion, huh?

❌

Artyom goes to the cemetery to look for his grandma(she died 2 years ago). Artyom is caught and arrested for desecrating tombs.

     😌 🐉

Artyom takes a worm and injects to it a lot of chemical stuff and it becomes a monster, and Artyom uses it to steal all the bakeries in the world. Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

     🔥 😀

Artyom is in a public pool and he finds a flamethrower in the bathroom. What did Artyom makes?

a) Give it to the police

b) Burn everyone

c) Leave it there

❌

Artyom call the police to give them the flamethrower, but they though he was a pyromaniac psychopath and kill him.

        😉

Artyom was lucky, because every person there was infected with a strange virus, so Artyoms receives a prize from the government for burning the infected beings. Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

❌

Artyom just ignores the flamethrower, then another guy enter to the bathroom, grabs the weapon, and burns everybody. Yes, including Artyom.

      😧

Artyom is in a strip bar with his friends, but a group of gangsters are waiting arrive and are just about to kill them. What did Artyom makes?

a) Hide

b) Join the gangsters

c) Eat nuts

❌

Artyom hides behind the bar, but the gangsters, who also wanted some whisky, find Artyom and kill him in a very horrible way.

     😉 💶

Artyom asks kindly to the leader of the gang if he can join them, and the leader say yes, that there's no problem with having a new member. Artyom betrays his friends, but who gives a rat's ass about that? Now he have new and powerful friends. Be clever. Be like Artyom.

❌

Artyom the idiot start eating nuts in front of the gangsters, who take him outside and use his heart and brain to turn on their damaged car.

     😖 🚫

Artyom has a strong desire to snort cocaine, but he knows its bad for his health. Okay, seriously, he doen't matter about that, he doesn't snorts because he haven't money to buy some. What did Artyom makes?

a) Snort diamond dust

b) Buy a candy

c) Go to sleep

      😵

To kill the desire of drug, Artyom decides to snort diamond dust, that he found below his pillow. By doing this, Artyom dies, of course. But this is not bad at all, because Artyom's body is used to as fuel for airplanes. Artyom is clever and useful. Be like Artyom.

❌

The candy that Artyom bought was not a real candy, it was a mixture of animal's po and other stuff. There's nothing to say.

❌

Artyom goes to bed wishing to had snored drug. At the next day, he discovers that 600 thieves entered his house and stole everything. If there was party, thieves would never had came. Artyom is brute. Don't be like him.

      👨 😯

A strange man knocks Artyom's door and offers to him to grab one of three objects. Whta did Artyom grabs?

a) A knife

b) A poisoned potato

c) A dead bird

❌

Artyom takes the knife. Nothing happens. The man asks Artyom to return the knife, he does. When the man grabs the knife again, he kills Artyom for being stupid. What else? WRONG ANSWER.

     🥔 😏

Artyom takes the poisoned potato, and then he invites the man to eat with him. He serves the potato to the man and he dies. Now Artyom can grab the three objects! Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

❌

Why the hell would you take a dead bird, that, by the way, is infected with bird flu? At level 12 you are supposed to know how to play.

      😕 👽

Artyom has been kidnapped by a group of aliens. What did Artyom makes?

a) Prettend fool

b) Propose an orgy

c) Offer a joint

❌

Artyom prettends to be an idiot (even though he is). This way, he isn't useful for the aliens, so they throw him to the outerspace where he dies a lot. Yes, "a lot".

❌

The extraterrestrial beings accept Artyom's offer. At the beginning everything seems to be okay, but after 2 weeks without stop, Artyom dies.

       😀 🚬

Artyom takes out the super joint, created by him. The aliens get very surprised by the power of Artyom's joint, and they consider him a god, and he receives a spacial city for himself. Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

       ☹ 🌊

Artyom is in the middle of the Pacific ocean, alone and despaired. What did Artyom makes?

a) Swim until the deepness

b) Make a signal to a ship

c) Do nothing

     🐟 🐠 🐡

Artyom swims until the bottom of the ocean, where he finds a beautiful city, where he can find free illegal stuff, and the best of all, there are no laws! Artyom decides to stay and live there forever. Artyom is clever and happy. Be like Artyom.

❌

The ship was a... well... i don't know, just imagine that something terrible happened. Artyom is stupid, don't be like him.

❌

Artyom stays there doing nothing, and he stays like that too much time that his body becomes as liquid as water (:v). Now Artyom is part of the ocean... but there's nothing good with that.

       ❓ ❔

Artyom wakes up turned into a germ, inside his dog's stomach. What did Artyom makes?

a) Throw up

b) Become friend of the other unicelular beings

c) Talk shit

❌

Artyom throws up a lot. Obviously nothing happens. What where you expecting from this option?

❌

Well... there's no a reasonable explaination for this, its just wrong and that's all. Go! Go away!

       🐕

Artyom starts telling very bad stories, so bad, that he gets expelled from the intestines of the dog, and you know very well where he got out from. He still being a germ, but now he is free! Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

        🤕

Artyom has just been bitten by a rabid dog. What did Artyom makes?

a) Play Hospital Simulator

b) Define a variable

c) Become a russian vodka drinker bear

❌

Artyom heals all his wounds, and grows into a healthy boy. But there's one problem, and its that he was in a videogame. Artyom dies of an infection in real life.

    var num = 0;

Artyom declares a variable... well, he saw it in a book. But for some strange reason, this makes Artyom into an invincible being, and he cannot die. Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

❌

Artyom becomes a Russian vodka drinker bear, but he only lasts a few minutes before being murdered by the hand of capitalism.

      🤔 🔴

Artyom has been sent to live in Mars forever. What did Artyom makes in Mars?

a) Start a canteen

b) Join the army

c) Talk about Halo

❌

Artyom decides not only to offer beer, but also illegal narcotics, which produces instantly death to the aliens in there. Artyom is arrested and loses the trial, for later be sentenced to live in the asteroids belt, alone...

❌

Artyom is sent with his squad to invade Earth, but after landing, his spaceship is destroyed by a russian vodka drinker bear (ironic, huh?).

      🎮

Artyom starts talking about Halo Combat Evolved to his friends. Years later, the parliament of Mars decides to built the giant ring and Artyom gets fame over all the universe. Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

        😶

Artyom hasn't left his cave for months, and when he comes out, a bunch of journalists are waiting for him for an interview. What did Artyom makes?

a) Say kindly to the journalists to go and take for ass

b) Accept

c) Return to his cave

❌

Artyom procceds with the "cruel" action. Unfortunately, one of the journalists was carrying his MP5, and he shots at Artyom, who dies a lot.

       🤑

Artyom accepts the interview and starts answering a lot of question, action that, years later, make him into the owner of the richest enterprise in the world. Artyom is clever and rich. Be like Artyom.

❌

Artyom rejects the inrerview and returns to his cave. He never gets out again...

⚡

Artyom wants to have superpowers. What did Artyom makes?

a) Kill batman

b) Consume lots of drugs

c) Eat an octopus

      🦇 😄

Artyom kills batman and grabs all his stuff. He never gets superpowers but at least he is the new batman, even though he lose the suit at the next day, but anyway, Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

❌

Artyom starts consuming lots of narcotics that, instead of giving him superpowers, give him a super death.

❌

Artyom eats an octopus, but he doesn't gets superpowers. Instead, he gets a strange illness that kills him 36 years later.

     😕 ❔

After being out many time, its time for Artyom to return home. There are two paths, but Artyom don't know which to choose. What did Artyom makes.

a) Choose both

b) Chosse none

c) Jump very high

❌

Well, its true that Artyom's world is already fantasy but, how can someone go through two ways at once?

❌

Artyom decides to stay there, and without choosing a way, he never reaches his home, and becomes a wild ceature forever.

☺

Artyom jumps so high, that he reaches the outer space and falls in his house. Artyom is now happy for being at home. Artyom is clever. Be like Artyom.

Be Like Artyom 2